Song Mode

I was thinking about songs today for various reasons, so i decided to go through the random music I have on my computer. that's when I came across this song which I had completely forgotten I had and hadn't heard in a while. it's called Your Guardian Angel by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus and the lyrics really spoke to me. so I figured I'd post the lyrics here along with a video of the song. This is for you girl. XOXOXO

When I see your smile
Tears run down my face I can't replace
And now that I'm strong I have figured out
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul
And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.
Seasons are changing
And waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I'll be the one

I will never let you fall (let you fall)
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all (through it all)
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

Cuz you're my, you're my, my, my true love, my whole heart
Please don't throw that away
Cuz I'm here for you
Please don't walk away and
Please tell me you'll stay, stay

Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I'll be okay
Though my skies are turning gray

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

Pros and Cons

I've been realizing a lot of things lately, and among these I realized just how much getting an apartment has really effected my life. I figured it would, but not this much. Though there are definately some good things that go along with having an apartment, there have been some things I realized I don't like it. For instance, I am glad that I am no longer living at the school because it gives me a lot more freedom than before. I don't have to worry about what I say or do on my own time because I can't get in trouble from the school. However, a lot of my friends are back at the school, including one very important person in particular, whom I don't get to see as often as I would like. And when it comes to the girl I mentioned before, I don't get to see her as much as I want to, but there is a slight added bonus. When we do get to hang out, it means that much more and our time together is more precious. On a different tangent, I do get to hang with some of my best friends all the time and we've already had a lot of fun, but now all the slightly annoying habits that they have just seem more pronounced. Oh well, that's enough complaining for now... sigh...

45 hours

Wow... that's all that keeps running through my mind lately. I just keep getting surprised, but in extremely good ways. I have been a lot a joy in the last two weeks. I thought I was happy. I thought I was content. But now I know differently. I am so happy. I've been given a level of comfort that until now have been unknown to me. I feel so cheesy right now saying this, thinking I'm rediculous for even thinking like this, but it is the best way that I know in order to express how I feel right now. It was so hard to leave her today. I wanted to stay there all night, and if it weren't for outside forces I would have. We have spent the last 45 hours together non-stop. And now we've been apart for several hours and still I can't stop thinking about her... I must be crazy, but guess what? I'm alright with that. Call it what you will, I'm crazy about this girl, and I consider myself lucky to have her. And what's funny is I'm already looking forward to tomorrow (or later today, whatever you want to call it) so I can spend more time with her. This is new and exciting for me, and I'm not really scared at all. Every miniscule doubt that so far has popped into my head over the last two weeks have, withing the day, been wiped clean by something she has either done or said. Like I said, I'm crazy about her, and I'm looking forward to see what happens next. 

Until then...

Three Little Words

It surprising what three words can do to a person. And no, it's not the words you would expect. Three simple words that most people would not understand what it meant when put together like that. Put that just goes to show how truely powerful heartfelt words can be. And because of these three words I'm making a promise I plan to keep. I am happy. Though typically a easy going quirky guy, it is very rare that I am legitimately happy with my life. But right now I am happy, especially when I put myself with one person in particular. At the end of the day, I long for the moment when I finally get to spend time with someone like her, even if only for a few minutes. Those minutes strengthen me and keep me going. It is a feeling I have longed for for a very long time and it seems that it may finally be within my grasp. I want you to know you have brought me more joy than you can imagine and I promise to always, with every ounce of strength I have, to keep you safe.

Try This Again

Well, it seems yet again I'm going to make another attempt at a blog because some things that have happened recently have re-astablished my interest in doing such... We'll see how this goes I guess. Anyway, I'll try and keep this up this time. I may need some help, seeing how I can be a lazy ass sometimes. ;) Oh, and I just wanted to say, babe (and you know who I'm talking to if you're babe), I don't want you to be afraid to be open with me. If something is on your mind, please tell me. I want to know. And no matter what you tell me, you won't "scare me off" and I won't think you're a nut or silly or anything like that. I'm there for you. I want you to know that, no matter what, you're safe.

Until later, this is Captain, signing out.